Nov 1, 2012

'In-between' moments

It is arduous these days to remain unconnected for long, in essence to plug-out. I think I am losing my sense of simply being. The sense of purpose and productivity is so ingrained that I do not seem to know how else to be.

I came to Sri Lanka in some measure to lose that connectedness. However, these past few days have been subsumed by the very things I am trying to put on hold. There are places to go, photographs to click, schedules to meet, trains to catch, books to read, all these forcing me to re-evaluate my 'holiday' in its true essence. 

It happens however, time stopping without an epiphany or any drama, just a heightened sense of my surroundings. The awareness of seeing the coast appear as I stand by the door of a train. A place not entirely occupied by design, almost grudgingly so, which gradually unfurls it moments. The sound of waves lapping against the rhythmic chugging of the train. The breeze from the sea hits you with such force  that it carries away the mild stench of a collective humanity sharing a cramped second class compartment.

Mundane things transform themselves that moment, the pattern of the light from a grimy light bulb by the train door, seems beautiful. The man holding on to the door, half hanging out, turns, his occasional smile on a weather beaten face is all the communication there is. Its these moments being at peace with the world that I call my 'in-between' moments. Fleeting, rushing past like the Sri lankan coastline. 

Its like watching the rain. To let go of each thought and just listen to the steady drumming of the rain. When you effortlessly cease reaching out for a  book or a phone or anything of familiar comfort and just be. 

Its perhaps the certain mortality of these moments that make them so romantic, almost like an insatiable longing. The certainty of losing the feeling of that 'in-between' moment, being engulfed even in its expression in this note, seems to steal that moment away.